Here are a few vignettes of the type of thing you can expect to bump into. Or not.
Byalka - Bulgarian for Marten - not an animal we've seen in the UK for many many years but sort of like a stoaty squirrel. Sort of. Unpointed areas (and I have a few) can allow access to an inquisitive Byalka and they do love a roof space. Once they're in, they try and extend the opening by pushing what they can out of they way and they're extremely effective at what they do. Nothing says 'home' to a Byalka like a renovated barn roof. To improve the sense of belonging, they shit wherever they can and bite chunks out of anything that looks tasty and nourishing, like wood, mattresses, even car brake pipes I've heard. As cute as they look, they're basically a pain in the arse and difficult to evict. Killing them with poison works but the aftermath is unsightly. Stumbling across a dead Byalka after it has vomitted its intestines onto your varnished pine floor is enough to put you off your breakfast I assure you.
Snakes - There are at least 10 types of snakes found in Bulgaria, of which two are poisonous. The Common Viper and the Horn Nosed Viper. The other eight are basically pussies and can be discounted. Even the Common Viper is a poor excuse for a serpent, it's venom causes no more harm than a bee sting. The Horn Nosed Viper though is quite brilliant. A proper nasty slitherer. I have a feeling that Keith had one nibble at him which ended up in a trip to the hospital and days in recovery. He'll correct me if I'm wrong. Contact with them is rare and there haven't been any fatalities in many years, they tend to keep themselves to themselves, unless you're doing some serious garden clearance (which I think Keith was) and destroy their home in the process. I've never seen one to the best of my knowledge but they are around.
Brown Bears - Long considered a pest, the 1930's Brown Bear population declined to a mere 300 examples. In short, the Brown Bear has had a rough old time of it. Hunted to near extinction, they were given protected species status in the 1950's and by the 1980's, only high ranking government officials and foreign trophy hunters were granted the privilege of slaughtering them. There are now an estimated 1000 or so of the furry cuddlers roaming two strictly monitored areas in Bulgaria. In the last few years there have been isolated reports of bears coming into contact with humans and even a couple of attacks. Hunger has been suggested as a motive. Sources are not reliable and language tends towards the sensational. Personally, I've never been anywhere near one and wouldn't be bothered if I was. My only glimpse of one was years ago near the Black Sea coast and it was being led down the road by a guy on a chain. You don't see that these days. I've seen several sources claim that Bulgarians today are well disposed towards Brown Bears and I'm generous enough in spirit to believe them.
You won't see Brown Bears unless you're very lucky. They don't have too many reasons for coming anywhere near us if they can help it. We've not been very good neighbours to them.
Fireflies - Apart from being the best TV sci-fi series ever, the Firefly is one of God's better ideas. Basically, a fly (flying beetle in actual fact), with a lightbulb strapped to its rear end. The light emanated as they swoop and flit is a mating tool primarily and a deterrent to would be predators as an added bonus. Males and females flash luminescent signals at each other rather like Naval Aldis lamps and morse code. Dot dot dash (Are you up for it?) dash dot dash (sorry, I'm on this week) dash dash dot (fair enough, how about an antennae job?) dot dot dot (dream on fly-boy). The effect is spectacular. To see a swarm of Fireflies sparking in the still night air is a quite beautiful, natural miracle. The Firefly mating season is typically short, two weeks or so, but I've seen Fireflies many times in Bulgaria, so maybe I've caught them on the run-up while they're practicing, or maybe Bulgarian Fireflies can go a bit longer than elsewhere. I have no science to back up my speculation on the Bulgarian Firefly libido I'm afraid. A late spring/early summer trip to rural Bulgaria will give one a good chance of spotting them.
When medical science finally achieves interspecies splicing, I will be first in the queue to get a Firefly lamp grafted to my butt that glows brilliantly every time I feel horny. As far as I'm concerned, Fireflies are totally brilliant. The sun, almost literally, shines out of their arse.
Wild Boar - According to my online source, there were in the region of 40,000 Wild Boar roaming Bulgaria in 2009. They too though have had a traumatic history and extinction threatened after the two big European wars. There are apparently two distinct flavours of boar, one larger in the north and one smaller in the south. The central mountain range providing a natural migration barrier between the two ecotypes (this is all sounding quite believable isn't it? Not my own work you understand). I've never seen a Wild Boar. Presumably they snuffle in the woods and do whatever else it is they do but they generally do it out of the way.
Fish - I know less about fish and fishing than I do Wild Boar. Apparently it is excellent though. Carp gets lots of mentions. Have posted a pic of a man with a fish. To be honest I'm bored now and want to go back to making things up.
Note: If you're a UK reader, don't be too harsh in your assessment of Bulgarians and their penchant for killing stuff. It has been a national pastime since Spartacus was strutting around the place. Remember, different people think differently. That said, I can't offer any excuses for hunting purely for sport. I've looked at a bunch of stuff online in writing this and to be honest, there's a lot of 'man in comfortable truck shooting at badly frightened animal' tour packages available. It doesn't make pleasant reading to my eyes but there is obviously a market for it or those companies wouldn't exist.
There are also well organised, well disciplined hunts (including in Gostilitsa) which are less bloodthirsty and glory oriented. I'd like to think that at least some retain a spirit of man pitting wits against beast in an attempt to feed themselves. I buy into that concept more readily. I have gone on record as wanting to join a hunt to see how I'd feel about being so closely connected to the food I eat. I don't think my romantic notion of downing a Wild Boar then spit roasting it over a fire with my mates to fill our empty bellies really holds water though. I might be able to justify that sort of thing in my mind but it doesn't work like that in the real world. These things seem to involve a lot of people and theres a lot of shooting that can be heard in the distance. It doesn't feel like it's a starving hunter versus dangerous man eating porcine. You know, kill or be killed, that sort of thing. My appetite for being any part of that diminishes the older I get and the more I think about it. I don't know. I'm going around in circles. If Bulgarians want to carry on doing it because it's part of their cultural heritage, that's up to them, it's their country. Rich foreigners getting off on shooting shit doesn't sound right though.
No comments:
Post a Comment